I'm pretty sure that the lady who lived in my apartment before me bought everything through catalogs. Over the years that I've lived here I've received an amazing variety of catalogs. The most unique was the Horse Fanciers catalog. The one with the two pages of sex toys was also pretty interesting. But my favorite is called "Catalog Favorites" because it always has pages of witty tee-shirts. So here are a few of my favorite tee-shirt jokes from the catalog that arrived today.
"Patience is a virtue. It's just not one of my virtues."
"If I'm ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works."
"I'd grow my own food if I could only find bacon seeds."
"If I say I will do it, I will do it. No need to remind me every six months."
"Not to brag, but I can forget what I'm doing while I'm doing it."
"Another wine bottle with no genie at the bottom. I'll keep looking."
And last, in honor of a good friend...
"Yes, I'm an nurse. NO, I don't want to look at it."
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