If they can do it, why can't I?

I've long suspected that drug companies are constantly inventing new diseases and conditions so they can provide high-price cures. I know that probably sounds paranoid but that's what I suspect.  I don't remember half the diseases for which cures are advertised but I'm sure those ads never appeared on TV when I was a youth. Of course back then they had ads for cigarettes and liquor. Anyway, my point is, I have decided to follow the trend and invent a condition of my own. I call it PMA Syndrome (not to be confused with PMS. PMA stands for Post Middle Age. I figure I'm definitely post middle age, unless I hope to live to be 144 and I don't, I think that telling people, when I forget something or make a mistake, that I'm suffering with PMA Syndrome sounds more impressive that simply admitting I had a senior moment. Now that I've written this it should be only months 'til we see a PMA cure promoted on TV. I suggest dark chocolate.