remembering...

 Today a couple whom my spouse and I have known since college (we will not say how long ago that was) came to town for a visit.  We went to Wu's for a delicious Chinese lunch.  After which we came back to our house and spent several hours sipping iced tea enjoying the art of conversation.  We did not start any of our sentences with "Do you remember when....."  Instead we talked about our lives now.

  They are fully recovered from a tornado that destroyed their home of 50 years two years ago.  As with so many people who suffer a disaster, their whole attitude is one of thankfulness that no lives were lost.  Everything else can be and has been  replaced.  Meanwhile, my spouse and I are still considered newlyweds after being married for a year and a half.  They admired our remodeled kitchen and enjoyed hearing about our recent trips. 

Of course we talked about our children and grandchildren and how they are all doing.  But underneath it all, without ever saying it, we remembered our long history.  The wife and I first met in college.  She and her roommate and I and my roommate (who became my BFF and my current spouse's first wife) lived across the dormitory hall from each other for three years.  We four became best friends and after college we and our spouses gathered for at least one get-together every summer.  When we had children they came along too.  The group pictures we took tell the story of our years of friendship.

During our college years I was lavaliered to the man who eventually married the roommate of the friend who visited today, while my roommate was falling in love with and eventually married the man I am married to now, after I became a widow and he a widower.  Are you following this?

The friends who visited today met in college and she fell madly in love with him.  I remember her fits of extasy when she would come back to the dorm from dates.  It must have been true love because they have been married for over 50 years now.  

All of this is just to say that all of our lives have unrolled before us with unexpected twists and turns and that remembering is fine but living in the now is even better.