My spouse and I have just come home from visiting my 90 year old cousin who lives in an assisted living facility. We took her a Christmas gift and visited for a little over two hours. As we walked away from her apartment, we each commented on what a pleasant visit it had been. On reflection I realized that the main factor that made it so enjoyable was the fact that she never once mentioned her aches and pains. She can't walk very much at all, gets around on a motorized scooter, and has, as you might expect, some health issues, but none of that came up in conversation. Instead we talked about the horse she had some years ago that had once been a circus performer. We talked about various trips she and her husband had taken over the years (she especially like Alaska) but thought Hawaii was a little too 'high brow' for her. She was also very interested in a trip we're planning. Of course we exchanged news about various family members, and she talked about the wildlife she has seen out side her patio door. She also, just in passing, talked about the dearth of interesting men in her facility. "They either can't hear or they only have one leg."
All in all, it was a very nice upbeat visit. I hope I remember, when it's my turn to be visited, to talk about anything and everything except what ails me, and to keep my sense of humor. I want to be like her when I grow up.
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